Dear Neighbors

Dear Neighbors who live across the street from me,

Why did you move into a house in my neighborhood, that is the epitome of suburbia, if you weren't mature enough or committed to being a good neighbor?  You have a broken-down car in your driveway that hasn't moved for over a year, you don't mow or water your lawn, and your bushes are overgrown.  But my biggest problem with you is your parties, where you turn your music up so loud that it rattles the pictures on my walls.  We tried to talk you about it once and your response was that next time you would invite us over.  Really?  You think as long as you extend an invitation it's okay to keep us up all night?  I know that your next door neighbor has talked to you about the noise as well.  I would also like to ask you, oh smart ones, why you think that if I called the cops on you once I won't call them again?  I would formally like to tell you that from this day forward every time the music is loud after midnight I will call the cops without hesitation, repeatedly if necessary.

Sincerely,
The neighbor across the street who really wishes you would grow up

P.S.  I really don't like you and no, inviting me over wouldn't make it okay.